Friday, September 11, 2020
I retired on December 17, 2019. I did it more suddenly than I had planned - I thought I would work through the spring of 2020 and retire in time to spend the summer in Ireland. I began thinking of retiring around Thanksgiving for numerous reasons and gave my 2 week notice the beginning of December.
I was scheduled for a right hip revision on January 15. After I recuperated, my friend Beth and I planned to visit her nephew and niece who were assigned to Rome for the FBI. They had a spare room and said we were welcome to come and stay. We were going for a week to Rome then a week in Sneem because I could only get 2 weeks at a time for vacation. With my sudden retirement, we decided we would have a real holiday so we decided to spend 3 weeks in Italy then go to Sneem for a week. We plotted out our trip and made reservations. I was reading nothing but information on Italy - particularly on Florence - I took online courses and webinars - borrowed tapes on speaking Italian from the library - I was gung-ho to go.
The first inkling that things might not go as planned was Monday, December 30 when I went for preop testing for my hip revision. The anesthesiologist told me that I was anemic and that I had kidney disease. I was shocked! I had never had problems with my kidneys - my blood counts had been low but I was never anemic. So the revision was postponed. Even worse was that I had to cancel my flight to Ireland - I was scheduled to leave for Shannon that night - that very night!! I was going to come back 5 days before the hip revision.
So the revision was put on hold, Ireland was cancelled. I was reeling - retirement was not supposed to be like this!! And it was only 3 days into retirement! Then I underwent more labs, X-rays, CT scans, cystoscopy. In the meantime I was hearing bits and pieces about a new virus in China. All my tests came back normal except the labs - I was still anemic - my kidney function was still off, but the doctors thought it was due to me taking Ibuprofen 3 times daily in mid December after oral surgery. I had been told to take it for swelling - I wasn't having any pain. So I took it about 5 or 6 days. My PCP told that she would monitor my labs - nothing else for me to do at this point. I was trying to avoid foods high in potassium and phosphorous for my kidneys - I have been limiting sodium for years for my blood pressure.
Anyway it was too late to have the hip revision before we left for Italy - and 3 weeks in Italy was my number one priority now that I knew I didn't need dialysis!! The beginning of February we heard that the virus that had started in China had reached Italy. Then we heard that Venice was closing down. I've been to Venice before so that was not too upsetting. Stupid me. Next we heard that Tuscany had high numbers of the virus - eventually Florence shut down - I was heartbroken - I had been studying so hard - the Medici, the Renaissance, Giotto, Brunelleschi, Raphael, Michelangelo - I almost cried.
Ireland did not have the virus raging so I decided to just go to Ireland - I had had to cancel my trip the end of December - I was not canceling this one completely. I would get off in Dublin where we were supposed to transfer for Rome. Beth decided not to go - too dangerous. Then Saturday morning, her son Brian texted me that Beth had changed her mind and was going - we'll meet at the airport. Alright! This crazy virus was not keeping us down!
We spent a week in Sneem just chilling. The following week - mid week - Trump banned flights from Europe. We tried to reach Aer Lingus and the American Embassy with no luck. We figured we were safe in Sneem. Then my brother-in-law told us Thursday or Friday that there were 2 cases of Covid 19 in Kenmare - the next town over - he said that we should not come to Kenmare. Gulp! Next Ireland cancelled the St Patrick's Day parade in Dublin - other cities and towns were following that lead. This would be the first time in over 20 years that I would be in Sneem for St. Patrick's Day - they can't - they won't - but they did. No St Patrick's Day for me.
We heard on the radio and on TV updates from the government and medical personnel daily re the spread of Covid in Europe and now there were cases in Ireland. They taught us on TV how to wear masks, properly wash hands, social distance, how to take care of someone at home with Covid, and more. The popular Late Late show was on Friday night but had no studio audience. We heard that Italians must quarantine and can only go out for groceries or doctor appointments. Cases in Spain and France were increasing. Still we thought we were safe in Sneem because it is so rural.
Saturday evening about 4 pm, we heard - then everyone was texting us - that Trump was closing the US border to the UK and Ireland on Tuesday - how fitting - my St. Patrick's Day. We churned over the pros and cons of riding this out in Ireland - we still thought we would be safer. But what if something happened to one of our kids, and we couldn't get home?! Again no response from Aer Lingus or the American Embassy. If we stayed, could we get home if there was an emergency? Could any airlines from Europe get to Boston or any other airport in the US? I wasn't able to change my ticket online. Holy lord! A first class ticket to Boston was $1000 and $850 for a regular seat. What a joke! I figured 1st class might have more room - we knew from Irish TV that the virus is air borne. So we bought 2 first class tickets - $1000/each.
Holy god! It was about 6:30 pm. I needed gas for the car - we needed to pack - we needed to take the trash to my cousin Larry. We raced into Sneem and filled the tank at Sneem Tavern - the only place open for gas in Sneem. I figured we should leave between 5:30 and 6 am - there shouldn't be any traffic on Sunday morning, but we didn't know how many Americans would be trying to get out of Ireland. We went home, gathered up perishables and the trash and brought them to Loughane. Larry was delighted to see us - he thought we were coming for the evening. I felt terrible telling him that we had to rush off to pack - we were heading to Shannon at 5:30 the next morning. He couldn't believe it. I kissed him goodbye and headed for the car. Beth followed shortly. We went home and started packing. I was still in the process of cleaning the house - I had emptied drawers and piled everything up on the beds in the back bedroom - no time to sort them out now.
We had no problem getting onto the plane for Boston. The problem was that we didn't get our 1st class seats!! I said something to the stewardess - she was going to look into it but never came back! I was so pissed! But at least we were going home. We had arrived March 1 and went home March 15 instead of March 29.
Life certainly did change then - everything closed down - there was nowhere to go - there was no toilet paper, no cleaning products, no hand sanitizer, no meat. Mike had moved back from Ireland in February so he did a lot of our shopping. When restaurants reopened and started doing takeaway, we started too. We still get a breakfast sandwich at Mary Ellen's bakery and eat at the beach or harbor. We order take away from different restaurants for dinner 2 or 3 times weekly to help the local economy - usually we take it home - sometimes we eat at the harbor. We are lucky to have the coast to enjoy as we dine! I have eaten outdoors a couple of times with friends, but I am not ready to dine in yet.
Last winter I had started sorting through my things - my junk as my kids would call it - giving some away - packing some - throwing some out - I was going to sell my house and move to Sneem. I had been doing this until the good weather arrived. Then I turned my attention to the yard. With Covid all plans are on hold.
I had tried to go walking at the harbor most days when I was working. When Johnny Murphy was alive, I would walk, and he would talk to everyone parked at the harbor. After he died, I wasn't going as often - there was always an excuse - let me make this phone call, let me just write this note - and time would be gone. Now it was up to me do do the yard work - and we have a big yard. I raked leaves, and we took them to the landfill. I mowed the lawn - sometimes it took 2 or 3 days. I cut as much of the hedges as I could - Mike cut some of the tops. I dug up ground to plant vegetables and flowers. I bought a weed wacker and cleared the weeds that the lawn mower didn't reach. I was up and out every day - I felt like I had a part time job! But I loved it! I loved the fresh air, the sunshine, the work. I would work for a while until my back or right hip started bothering me. I would then sit on the porch with a jug of water and a book or a Great Course on my computer. After half hour or so, I would go back to work - I worked for 4-5 hours every day it didn't rain. There is a ton of wood in the backyard from JB and Johnny Murphy so I bought a chain saw, but for some reason when I sit down to put it together, I can't muster up the concentration to do it. But it is okay, there is still plenty of work to do. And thank god there is. This yard work is keeping me grounded during this pandemic. If I didn't have this, I don't know how I would be.
But suddenly, I woke up July 26 and I was having trouble breathing - I also had pain behind my lower sternum. What the hell?!? I kinda knew this wasn't a cardiac event, but what happened? I had been fine up to now although last night I coughed while I was eating a salad. Could I have aspirated? Should I go to the ER or wait to see if it gets better? No, I don't want to be gasping for breath feeling like I am smothering. So Mike dropped me off at the ER. He could not come in because of Covid so he went home.
After labs and a chest Xray, the ER doc said I had a collapsed right lower lobe and pneumonia - perhaps aspiration pneumonia. They were starting IV antibiotics and admitting me. My oxygen levels were in the mid 90s so no oxygen. I got a private room - hurray! Only one visitor was allowed daily - again because of Covid so Mike came in after work - I had him bring in my Kindle and MacBook - I was all set. The antibiotics were the only treatment I received - every day I felt better. I had a bronchoscopy on Thursday that showed a large mucus plug. I was discharged home Friday on oral antibiotics for 5 days. I was glad to be home. As I had done in the hospital, I got up and walked from one end of the house to the other every hour - I set up chairs and would walk in between them so I covered more ground, I had an incentive spirometer from preop teaching, so I pulled that out and used it every hour on the half hour. I was feeling much better. It is summer so my flabby Bingo arms started driving me crazy. I had been lifting 5 lb weights off and on for years - never consistently because the flabbiness continues. So I lifted them. I never lift them straight up over my head and lower them straight down with the back of my hand toward the ceiling. So I tried it. Didn't feel so comfortable so I only did it twice.
Well, of course, twice was way too much - I developed sharp burning tingling pain down the top of my left arm into my thumb and index finger which are both numb. Dear god, it was awful at night!! I was distracted by day. But could not get comfortable at night - I was in bed - out of bed - up in a chair - out of the chair - on the sofa - back to bed. I'd be up till 4 am or later despite taking Tylenol - I couldn't take Ibuprofen because of my kidneys - then fall asleep in the chair exhausted. I knew this was cervical nerve irritation - I had had it before - it takes time to wear off.
Everything was slowly getting better. I saw my PCP in Brighton - my friend Julie drove me up because my left arm was terrible in the car so I could not drive - I was okay as a passenger with my arm resting on a pillow on my lap. My PCP gave me a requisition for a follow up chest Xray in 2 more weeks and an order for PT for my arm - she was going to arrange for pulmonary function tests. I called PT but couldn't get an appointment until 9/10/19. Things went along slow but steady. My friend Beth dove me to the PFTs at St. Elizabeth's on September 1.
I went estate saling with my brother and sister-in-law on Saturday - they are big into buying and selling modern antiques. My brother then asked me if I wanted to take a drive to New York on Wednesday September 2 - he and his wife had to pick up something at an auction house. I jumped at the chance for a change of scene. My breathing was much better and my arm was better although I still needed to put a pillow under it in the car - and I could not drive very far.
I did drive to their house in Pocassett and we headed off. It was interesting because they drove up Route 495 and got off somewhere near Milford and drove through Sutton and Oxford before getting onto the Mass Pike. It was country-ish as we drove through the back roads - farms, corn fields, farm stands. We got off the Mass Pike and drove through Stockbridge and Great Barrington. My daughter Mairead and I had stayed at the Stockbridge Inn several years ago. We loved it out here.
We were heading for Copake, New York. We again passed farms, cornfields, some cattle, hay fields, baled hay. I was loving this. We arrived at the auction house which was nothing like I expected! This was an old building with a house attached - I expected a glitzy enterprise.
Johnny put on his mask and went in to pick up a Jewish painting he had won in an auction. I got up to stretch my legs - the scenery across the street was interesting.
We arrived at the auction house - this was a big warehouse. Johnny and Vickie both masked up - he was picking up a table and some lamps. Vickie told me to walk over for a look inside, but only buyers could go in. There were rows of furniture, clothes - things you would see at an estate or a yard sale. As I walked back to the car, I noticed that I was short of breath - must be the humidity. My cousin Larry then called to tell me that he had received the masks that Julie had sent. He asked for her phone number so he could call to thank her.
I had just hung up when the phone rang again - it was my PCP telling me that the pulmonary function tests showed moderate lung disease - moderate COPD. I wasn't too surprised - I didn't think I had done well with the PFTs, but this moderate lung disease was pretty sudden - I hadn't had trouble breathing before the collapsed lung - sure I got short of breath on stairs but I am fat, out of shape, and a former 30 year smoker. Anyway, she said to follow up with a pulmonologist.
Johnny and Vickie packed up the car and we headed for Darien, Connecticut to an Italian restaurant they often stop at. I noticed I was quite short of breath walking to the restaurant - I wondered what was up. The place was deserted except for 2 people at 2 tables. It was a good size place and the food was good.
I went to bed for a couple of hours when I got home about 6:30pm - I was tired from a day of sitting in the car??!! The next morning I had the same feeling I had with the collapsed lung except not so severe. I called the pulmonologist who did the bronchoscopy at Falmouth hospital - it had shown no aspiration but a big mucus plug he had trouble removing - he said there was a lot of mucus in my airways which indicated inflammation. Anyway, he covers the ICU every other month and sees patients the other month. He is booked up for October - the first he could see me was December. I couldn't wait until December with the way I was feeling. Scott Slater could see me tomorrow - Friday - in Hyannis at 9:30 am.
I parked right outside his office - I had to climb 4 steps - I was almost gasping when I reached the desk. It wasn't too bad walking to the nurse's office - my oxygen level was 93. I was a little short of breath walking down 2 rooms to the pulmonologist. He said that Dr Irvine at Falmouth could not figure out what caused my lung to collapse initially. He listened to my lungs and said he thought it was again partially collapsed. He told me to use the Albuterol inhaler - he would arrange for a follow up chest scan.
That weekend life continued - I could do a little inside the house - and was okay if just sitting or driving. I was short of breath if I walked any distance outside. Monday I called Falmouth Hospital to see if I could have the chest X-ray there even though my PCP was at St. Elizabeth's. And I mentioned that Dr Slater was ordering a chest scan - the gal told me to come tomorrow at 9:45 am and have both done. That night I woke up coughing at 2 and and coughed until 4 am. I went back to sleep - when I woke up at 7:30, my breathing was so much better! I wasn't short of breath. Julie and her friend Martha drove me to Falmouth Hospital. Afterwards we bought breakfast sandwiches and ate at the harbor. I felt good that day and even better Thursday and Friday - I felt back to normal. I heard no results from the chest X-ray or chest scan, and didn't't go looking for them! I feel so good that I am going to West Virginia tomorrow with Johnny and Vickie! They rented a 3 bedroom cabin at Pipesteam Campgrounds in the mountains.
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